Our hearts are fragile and our souls consume whatever it can feast upon. So many countless hours of allowing my soul to feast on things that only kills it in the end, while my heart was breaking piece by piece. Growing these place, I’ve been through dark times. I have ran after things that were only causing more sorrow. The sad thing is, I still do.
It pains me to admit it, but I look for things outside of God. I search for whatever make me happy, but in reality it only does a halfway job. Searching for happiness in the world is something that will always end up with us being disappointed. I knew this, yet I still ran after the treasures in the world and not placing my true treasures in Heaven. In doing so, I found depression and sorrow. I was even trying to tell God how to do His job, as if I know more than He did.
I see myself maturing everyday, but the fuel behind all of this was fear. Fear terrorized me to the point of where I was at a place where I never should had been. As a guy, I wasn’t even leading MaKayla in our relationship. It hit me in a instants. The fear was taking over all my body and I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it. It was eating me from the inside out. The things I was so scared about was failure. I was so scared I was going to die without a cause so I wanted to do something about it. I was so blinded by the fear I forgot that God is so good and He is still in control.
After a year or more in 2015, I have finally started ironing out things and letting God take the handle over it. It’s been one tough process, but in the end I’ve found how much peace there is in not continually running so much. I have found there is joy in the moment of now and not in the “what’s next”. There’s so much beauty in the process of now. If you’re looking for the next thing, remember there’s beauty in the wait. This is the time to grow, don’t be scared of the uncertainty. You my friend will get what you’re longing for if your longing match with God’s Will.
God isn’t here to make sure you fail, He wants you to succeed in everything you do. But there’s a process with everything, and it’ll take time and it might hurt. But God still loves you, He hasn’t forgotten about you. Oh friends, even the best of things takes it’s time. What God promise you, it’s going to take a time but it’ll surely come. Rest in knowing that God will come through just st the right time.
– Jim ⚡