Life Update: SAY IT

Y’all it has been a long time since I wrote a blog post! Oh my GOODNESS. I started a ministry dedicated and solely focused on women and girls. On both Twitter and Instagram (@uwgm_).

Took a test for college, failed it. Going back to take it again! Fingers crossed and prayer hands lifted up high, that I pass it.

I came out of my dry season. My learning season. The planting season. (THANK YOU JESUS 🙌🏼 I finally learned something this time. SHOCKER. I actually finally surrendered and listened to God, so I wouldn’t have to come back to this dry season. For retake test number 101). 

My faith has gotten stronger from that dry season. I’ve grown so much! And that’s what this blog post is all about! Sharing with you something God showed me and just have to SAY IT!😉

I’m not going to go into full detail of what happened in my dry season because then you’d be reading a book instead of a blog post. But I am going to share a little bit with you, so understand of where all this started and came from.

So without further ado, here we GO!!!

My boyfriend and friend (Godly Relationships), are two of the most important people in my life, besides my family. They have been such lights in my life and I have learned so much from them! God has used them used them in a big way in my life. I love them both so very much.

And so since I love them, I also love how they share Jesus with others and how they go about sharing Him with the whole world! They have such a sweet and kind nature about. They most certainly also get to the point of it. It aligns right with The Gospel. But if you compared a couple of weeks back, how I give my advice to people and how I share Jesus with them, to how they (my boyfriend and Godly Relationships) give advice and share Jesus with people, I would sound snippy and kinda mean…

*Disclaimer never ever compare yourself. You’ll see a perfect example of why later on.

So a couple of weeks back, I was in the middle of my dry season. Everything was hurting, nothing seemed to fix it. Obviously because I was looking for it outside of God’s Dinvine plan and purpose. But at the time, the only thing I could think of to do was run. Because I had only done that ever since I was 13, run from it.

In my head, if I kept running from it then I was fearless. Because when you’re running you don’t feel anything. Your heart is numb, you can be whatever emotion you want to be. And no fear seems to hit you because you are running in the opposite direction of it. However, somewhere along the line, that thing you are running away from will come and hit you hard. You can’t out run things forever. So incase you haven’t guessed it already, my dry season was being hit hard by all the stuff I was running away from for so long.

I wish I could tell you that, in that moment I finally surrendered. Gave it all to God. Cried out to God verbally. And was on the road to recovery. But no. I only kept running and I kept running harder in the opposite direction. Until even running from it hurt. And I would be tormented day and night by it. I got no rest from it.

No advice or wisdom my boyfriend, friends or family helped me. I failed my test for college (just the math part) two weeks ago. Everyone seemed to be falling apart. So I got mad, instead of getting on my knees. I obviously took it out on everyone and it showed up in our tweets to.

J had a talk with me about it, told me how I needed to evaluate what I was about to tweet. Make sure it was spoken in love, in a Godly manner. Because my tweets were good, but I was pointing my finger instead of coming from a point of being on my knees and saying.

Now I see that that was great advice exactly what I needed. But since I wasn’t healed from brokenness gone way too pack, I saw it through the lense satan told me to look at it from. And that lense said this, “Stop talking about stuff like this. You’re being hateful and not like a loving Christian. Stop offending people and start just saying ‘Jesus forgives and loves you.'” 


So what do you think that make me do? Shut up my mouth. I shut it up. And I decided that I would say things that my boyfriend or Godly Relationships would. Because they would get more RT’s & likes. People didn’t comment bad things (too much) about things they shared. They’re so kind and amazing so I’ll just say what they would say. But if it gets too close to an issue then I’ll just shut up. No way, not me. Let everyone else do it. Because I’m tired of trying and getting hurt. I hate how the world is going, but I’ll just shut up and be like everyone around me is. And just be the nice Christian girl.

Now let me clear things up. The people I follow on social media, my boyfriend and friend, all post things that are on those touch topics. A LOT. But at the time, Satan showed me only the sweet and cute things and not the full picture. So I had that wrong about how I took what J was saying to me. Oopsies.

So my boyfriend and Godly Relationships will tell you, that they struggle with being a people pleaser. ( Me? Not so much. Which is why my tweets needed to be toned down). They do not want to offend anybody. And they want everybody to be happy. They put others happiness above their own sometimes. However they both will tell you, not to get into the habit of being a people pleaser. Because Satan can use that to trap you and keep your mouth shut in so many ways. It’s not funny. {*I need to say this about them though. They have grown so much from that. God has been helping them with this and I am so proud of them both!*}

It seemed like I was evil one and I seemed to be hurting people (btw I hate hurting people). So I decided to keep my mouth shut and try to be more like them. (UH OH!) (“No no no…” -Dikembe Mutombo)

You see I idolized how they do what they do for Jesus. More than I idolized Jesus. When you put something above God and Jesus, you’re idolizing it. That’s not good. AT ALL.

It lasts for a little while and I’m still running. But then one night, I have had enough and I just cry out to God. I lay it out. I stop running. And I surrender it all. So YAY!! I gave it all and surrendered. But I still was hanging onto pleasing people and being quiet.

So I go on still doing this. And really just settling in my healing. Then a few days ago, God spoke to me and said “SAY IT. Don’t do what Jim or anybody else tells you to do. SAY IT. Do what I tell you do. SAY IT.”

And so I just really want to encourage you, that when God gives you something to say, SAY IT. Yes, don’t purposefully offend people. But don’t be afraid to speak and say what God has chosen you to say. Because that is perfect truth and word that can free someone. There is no love in fear. So speak with love and don’t be afraid of the reaction. Jesus has got it covered. So just SAY IT!!
Xoxo, ♥️


2 thoughts on “Life Update: SAY IT

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s