Friend I have been there. Right where you are. Sweet friend, I can see it it right now. You are hurting and falling apart. Your days have been loved on autopilot. You're doing everything just to survive. Heartbreak after heartbreak comes your way. It seems like it never stops coming. Life just doesn't slow down. It feels like not a single person knows how it feels and not a single person seems to be there or care.
I have been there.
Friend, I have been there. More times than I can count. And it hurts like nothing in this world and tears are apart of your everyday life. Everyone tells you, you'll get through and God is in control. But that isn't comforting to your breaking heart, there is no cushion in those blows. Your heart is numb from the pain that's built up. You're handing by a tiny thin thread. And each day seems to get worse.
The truth is what we need to hear during those times, but it is really what you want to hear? Nope it never is. I balked when truth and words of encouragement would be spilling out of the people closest to me mouths. I would hate it. My soul and heart felt numb and nothing seemed to make me feel anything but anger. So much anger.
For three months I went through that process. The anger escalated. I would get so angry when everyone else were being blessed and miracles were happening in their lives, mine seemed to be so crappy. You know?
But I forgot something, something very important… I have a Friend. I have a forever Friend. I HAVE A FRIEND! Jesus laid down His Life for me. His Love, He chooses to pour it out on me. He knows what's it like to go through everything that I'll ever go through, through this life until I see Him face to face. Jesus gets it. JESUS GETS IT.
And better yet, He is taking my hand and leading me through all of these valleys and shadows.
But even better, He does the same for you and everyone else on planet earth. Sweet friend, He is leading you too! You will make out of this season and all your seasons alive. No matter how painful. No matter how numb. No matter anything at all. You will make it through. Because Jesus is telling all your fears, struggles, trials and everything that stands in your way, "You better back up because we are gonna walk through you together. So step aside. You don't have a hold on them anymore."
BUT Y'ALL, get this Jesus also took it deeper. SO MUCH DEEPER. Deeper than anyone else ever can. He takes so deep as to lay down His Life not just for one of His Friends. But for all of His Friends. For you and me. People who hadn't even seen His Face or knew His Name yet. People who didn't know His existence, but would one day repent with His Name on our lips and confess He is Jesus the King of Kings. And become His Brothers and Sisters, but also, His Friends.
When I was little, I didn't really comprehend why people want friends or longed for them. However as I got older I started longer for friends, but never had them. But lucky (blessed) me had a mom who was/is my absolute best friend. I've always been able to go to her and tell her anything. She doesn't judge and she always responds from the viewpoint and words of love. But some people don't always have that. And even when you do have that, sometimes it doesn't feel like they love you. With your friends it can be the same thing. So how do these verses line up? How do you make sense of all of this?
I may have shared this before in another blog post. But one day, when I was in the beginning of my growing season. I was having a horrible day of feeling less than and not needed. I asked God why didn't people seem to need me? And why didn't He need me? This is what He told me:
Need is a have to, they have to love you. When it is a want, they love you not because they have to, but because they choose to…everyday. So I want you and I choose to love you.
A true friend chooses to love you none stop. No matter what you've done or will do, they choose to love you. Everyday. Every hour of everyday. They love you. It never stops. Of course, we know since we are human, that that love is fractured and not always perfect. But a friends love is intimate and it is pure. You can talk to them about anything. Sometimes this love is found in a family member, they are your best friend. And let me tell you, when your family has your back, everyone better back up. Others times this love comes from someone outside of your family. And for all of us, it's also found in Jesus.
Jesus is someone you can always go to. He is always a Forever Friend. He chases down one and leaves the ninety-nine in the field. Because what good is a flock, if they're not all together? It's not the same without anyone of us. He sees the gold He can bring out of you. He chooses you. It doesn't make sense, but that's how Jesus is. He sees you at your worst and still says, “I choose you. I died for you, I picked you out of the crowd and I choose you.”
His Perfect Love for every single one of us was poured out as His Blood flooded the ground when they pierced His Side. His Love is so perfect it casts out fear. Fear has no place to be when His Love is there. His Love is the antidote to everything because it is perfect.
Jesus is helping you to make it through everything by His Strength. Jesus has got you. He is your Friend. He is our Friend. We've got a Friend. We've got a helper and He's got our back. He has never left our side and He never will.
I pray that as you walk through this season, that you start to know before you feel it, that you've got a Friend when it seems like no else is around to understand what it's like. Because Jesus does and He always will. He is forever and so is His Love. He'll always be there and He'll never forsake you. He promises you that and I can promise you the same!